The Rules of Fight Club

Parenting is hard. Anyone who is a parent knows this. It’s sleepless nights, it’s hiding in the closet just to eat chocolate, it’s cleaning puke up at 1:00 AM, it’s having to have deep and emotionally draining conversations with teenagers at 11:00 PM on school/work nights. It’s hard. Every stage. Babies and toddlers, teenagers and semi-adults. You know what else is hard? Discipline. And today I am scratch that, WE are, as in my husband and I, struggling in this whole discipline the child thing. Here’s why.

12:15 PM I get a text from the 6th grader; “Mom. Me and “O” got in a fight in the bathroom. We’re in the office. I wanted to tell you before they called. Are you mad?”

12:15 PM “What? You guys are friends. What happened? I’m not mad yet. Did he start it? Where did he punch you?”

12:15 PM “IDK why he did it. He started it. He tackled me and kicked me.”

12:16PM “He KICKED you??”

12:16 “Yes”

12:17 Phone Rings: “Hello Mrs. Bohl, I have your son here in the office, he’s okay physically but I needed to tell you that unfortunately he has been organizing and participating with 7 other boys in a non-sanctioned school club. It’s call The Fight Club.”

Okay, so I’m just gong to stop right there and tell you that yes, it’s everything that you are thinking it is. Apparently eight boys have been meeting in the bathrooms at school on set days and at set times and have been engaging in fighting and wrestling. And yes, it was all I could do to NOT die laughing on the phone. I mean, why on earth wouldn’t the school approve of a such a club??

Anways, after talking to the principal about how they were handling the situation at the school level and how all the boys were getting the same punishment, I asked to talk to Tyler Durden, Errr…Brad Pitt, I mean our son. He gets on the phone and tries to tell me what he THINKS his punishment should be, because after all, he has had some time to sit and think about it, but that’s not how our house works, we do not take suggestions from the offender on the punishment that should be doled out. The only thing he knew at that point was that I was meeting his dad for lunch and I was going to tell him. I am one hundred percent positive that he didn’t have a good day after that becasue “Oh crap. Mom is telling Dad.”

So, here’s were the conundrum is; how on earth do you discipline that??? I mean it’s so hilariously stupid, and so, so boys but at the same time not safe to be doing. I’m telling you parenting is hard and it’s even harder when you don’t want to discipline but know that you need to. Like my husband said “At least it was a fight club in the bathroom and not some other inappropriate behavior.”

Anyways, it took us the rest of the day to get all the laughs out and to have on our serious parenting faces when it was time for car pool. “Hey mom, are you guys mad at me?” “Well son, We’re not thrilled.” “Yeah, we were really, really, dumb.” “Mmm-hmmm” “We should have had the club at someone’s house.”

Anyways, as for punishment, he’s doing everyone’s chores for the rest of the week. Scoopoing poop in the backyard; and starting tomorrow he has to get up at 5AM and go to the gym with us, because if you want to be a fighter you have to train like a fighter…..

I wish I could offer my readers some kind of amazing parental insight to this or some incredible life lesson, but I have nothing. I mean other than if your kid wants to start a club at school make sure they get it sanctioned and sponsored.

Xoxo, Gena

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